Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
