party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
