A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
NoShamevember. You game?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
so much tequila, so little girl.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
