I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
