I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The maid of honor just puked.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
