Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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