whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
