shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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