you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
