I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I want her autograph on my taint
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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