That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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