You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
