Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
