Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
