There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
