were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What a dumb baby whore.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
