there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
