Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
