The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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