ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
