I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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