I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
