I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
God, I missed his penis.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
