i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
