belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
