May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i used baking grease as lip gloss
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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