Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
