She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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