I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
