All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
