Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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