my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
4 words: hood of his car
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
