the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
