Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
