I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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