What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
