So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
