Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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