i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
