I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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