i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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