if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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