No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
