If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
