I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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