I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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