ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
