when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
