:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
