she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We are all done wearing pants today
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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