i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
