Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Already got asked if we're dating
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
