I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
