Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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